Moving Out and Moving On: Best Tips on Saying Goodbye to a Home
Change is hard, saying goodbye is challenging, and moving on is difficult. No, we’re not talking about a romantic break-up or a familial passing, but rather about leaving your home. Whether the lease is up for your apartment in Seattle, WA or you’ve decided to move into your first house in Hackensack, NJ, there always comes a time to leave where you’ve called home. Afterall, the only thing constant in life is change, so how do we best say goodbye to one place and hello to the next?
Regardless of why you’re leaving a place, moving can be incredibly taxing (physically and emotionally). Leaving is a form of grief, says Dr. Sofia Forman of Sofia Forman Holistic, as “transitions evoke a response in our brains that connects back to attachment.” Although we may not realize it, we are often attached to our homes and they typically offer comforting spaces that are “secure, safe, [and] reliable,” which makes leaving them that much more difficult. This grief we deal with when leaving can “show up in unexpected ways [like] wanting to still spend time in the neighborhood or walk by, which is completely normal.” Methods like this and more are outlined in this ApartmentGuide article to help best deal with this grief and transitional period. After all, how we decide to proceed and deal with these emotions is essential for closing the chapter on one place and successfully beginning the next.
Step 1: Acceptance
Seems like a truism, but acceptance really is the first step! When starting a transition, it’s extremely important to take a moment to recognize and accept all the feelings (mourning, excitement, and everything in between) that have and will come up with the move.
“Moving can stir up emotions [and it’s important to] acknowledge them,” says Pauline from Talk Your Heart Out. She suggests “spend[ing] some quiet time in your soon-to-be-former space [and] notice what feelings arise - joy, sadness, even relief [as] accepting these emotions can help you process the change.” This is a great first place to start, but “if you find yourself struggling, [please] consider seeking support from a therapist.”
If you’re wondering how to start acknowledging these emotions, consider starting with a specific part or phase of your life that took place in the space. “For instance, if you were single during your time there, you could say goodbye to that period of singleness [or] if you were a student, you might bid farewell to your life as a student,” says Bay Area CBT Center’s Avigail Lev, PsyD. “It's important to not only say goodbye to the physical space but also to the version of yourself that lived there,” as “this makes room for a new environment and a new you, embracing the progress and changes that lie ahead,” continues Avigail.
After all, "leaving a place you've called home is never easy,” says Stashbee digital marketing executive Meher Gupta. Taking time to acknowledge the “bittersweet mix of nostalgia for the memories you're leaving behind and excitement for what lies ahead,” is a great first step to “help bring closure and set a positive tone for your next chapter."
Step 2: Express gratitude
After you’ve accepted this change and all the feelings that come with it, we now recommend taking time to express gratitude for your home.
Given that moving is often such a stressful time, we also often forget to take a moment to breathe. To mitigate this, The Moon and Stone owner Angelica Yingst suggests trying to find a way to make the packing process sacred. She suggests release ceremonies like “journaling and setting intentions, setting an alarm every hour to sit and thank your home for keeping you warm, safe, or protected, or creating a cleaning and clearing ritual.” These moments of expressing gratitude can greatly help you move on and properly honor your time in the space.
If you live with housemates (roommates, family, etc.), psychotherapist and executive director of Sacramento-based Love Heal Grow, Megan Negendank, has another goodbye activity recommendation. She suggests “writ[ing] a letter of gratitude to the home and then read them aloud together as they reminisce about time spent there.” If you’re stuck on what to write, consider making a list of 10 things you’re grateful for. For example, you can list things the place has provided which can be as basic as a roof over your head or special memories that have occurred like bringing home your first child. Since moving is such an emotional process, this activity “may bring up tears, laughter, or even feel a little bit silly,” but does ultimately help to provide closure on this chapter of your life.
So if writing isn’t your thing… don’t worry! “One heartfelt way to bid farewell is by creating a small ritual with crystals,” says Gemstone Well. They recommend placing “a piece of clear quartz or amethyst in a spot that held special meaning for you, and silently express gratitude for the memories.” These crystals are said to not only help with the emotional weight of moving and moving on, but also help with setting positive intentions for the next chapter (see more in step five).
If your move aligns with the full moon (what timing!), consider beginning your packing and declutter during a full moon to “harness its energies of completion, gratitude, and release,” suggests Erin Hollon, founder of Ivy and Light. “One simple way to embrace full moon energy is to thank each item as you place it in the giveaway or sell pile. This practice of showing gratitude helps you close your connection with the item on a positive note and sends good energy to its next owner. This releasing process will not only assist with the physical decluttering and organizing but also encourage mental and emotional release, helping you embrace a fresh start,” says Erin.
Step 3: Cleanse the space
Once you’ve packed up all of your things, it’s time to clean the space. We don’t mean patching the holes you’ve made in a rental home in Albuquerque, NM or sweeping the floors (but, please do so), but rather cleaning the space spiritually and energetically.
One method is smudging which is a practice in where smoke is believed to cleanse (negative) energy from a space. “As you close the chapter on your old residence, consider lighting sage or palo santo to cleanse the space of past energies, offering a respectful farewell, says Noble Healing owner Heidi Abosso. If you’re not keen on burning sage, try “Shakti SOULutions spray smudge to clear energy,” suggests holistic coach and spiritual healer Mindy Arbuckle of SOULutions Coaching. Either option can help to energetically clear the space and rid of any negativities, making it brand new for the next occupants. This practice also provides an opportunity for you to cleanse of any negative energy you or the space may be holding onto which can help you to start anew.
Another way to cleanse the space is by crystals. “Consider using a smoky quartz or black tourmaline to absorb and transform any lingering negative energy, ensuring you leave behind a space filled with positivity,” says Exquisite Crystals owner John VanRees Jr. Not only is cleansing the space helpful for you to move forward, but it’s also a kind act for the next inhabitant. And who knows? Maybe some good karma will be coming your way.
Step 4: Welcome the new residents
Speaking of welcoming in the new residents, we’ve compiled three ways to both help you say goodbye to your home while also ushering in the next occupants.
Consider gifting the new residents a small spotted plant like a pothos or planting a few succulents or herbs if you have a garden space. “Attach note explaining why the plant is meaningful and expressing your gratitude for the time you spent there,” recommends Heritage Apothecary’s Jessica Troupe. “This simple act of leaving behind a piece of life and growth can symbolize new beginnings and be a heartfelt gift for the next people to live there,” says Jessica.
If plants aren’t your vibe, another gift option is a piece of quartz. Consider placing “a piece of clear [or rose] quartz in a central spot and set an intention for peace and happiness for the new occupants,” says Joey Wargachuk, the marketing and event manager of Happy Soul. Simply place the crystal “at the entrance to set a loving and welcoming tone for the future residents,” notes Jessica. Using quartz in this way “helps create a positive transition and leaves a loving energy behind,” says Joey.
Our last recommendation is to write a letter to the future occupants. “Whether you leave the letter for them or keep it for yourself, a letter is a great way to find closure and symbolically pass the baton on the good memories of your home,” says Bridget Jo, blogger of Sunshine and Rainy Days. She recommends “to include a bit of the apartment's history and the reasons why you liked living there, along with tidbits about the fun times your family shared in the apartment.” Similarly, founder of More Love Letters Hannah Brencher says to “tell [the next residents] your favorite parts about the space. Tell them what made you the happiest while living there. Give them any essential tips.” Tips could include your favorite local restaurant or best spot in the house to grow plants. These letters “will not only bring joy to the new tenants but will also become an important part of your…history, so remember to keep a copy for yourself,” says Bridget. And who knows? Maybe like Hannah says, this “personal and regenerative touch…might just form ripples for years to come.”
Step 5: Positively transition
Once you’ve officially handed over the keys, it’s time to transition to the new place. This can also be an emotional process full of both excitement and overwhelming feelings. But don’t worry, we’re here to help with this too!
Just like cleansing the old space, it’s also important to cleanse the new one. “To create a positive transition, consider using Sage to cleanse the old space, removing any lingering energies,” recommends Sacred Crystals’ Vero Bero. It’s important to “clear out the former tenants’ energies and set the tone for your new adventure there,” says Vero.
Another way to help move into the new place is to use crystals. Owner of Rock This Way Crystal Shop Tiffany Hughes places citrine in the “farthest left-hand corner of my new home…to welcome joy, prosperity, and abundance into my life,” as citrine is the crystal of joy. “This simple ritual sets a positive tone for my new beginnings and helps me focus on the good things ahead,” claims Tiffany. Another option is to “set intentions by placing crystals like clear quartz or amethyst around the space to promote clarity and calm,” suggests Nina Mongendre, founder Sage Moon. Whether you choose citrine, clear quartz, or amethyst, all should help with the move-in process as “starting fresh with a grateful heart and a clear intention makes the transition a little smoother,” says Tiffany.
Our last tip for moving in comes from Claudia and David of Spirit of Elements. Before you start bringing in the boxes, they recommend first “enter[ing] a new space with the intention of making it truly your own.” After you’ve cleansed the space and ridded of previous energies, they say to first “infuse the area with your individual flair and essence.” This isn’t just about moving in your furniture, but about prioritizing the elements that most resonate with you to “evoke feelings of happiness and tranquility.”
Saying goodbye… to this article
Leaving your home is one of the most challenging things to do, both physically and emotionally. “Our homes are often more than a place to lay our heads; they can provide us with comfort and protection,” says Take Root Therapy therapist Saba Harouni Lurie, and we couldn’t agree more. While yes you can pack things up in a hurry and flee, “Saying goodbye to a residence can be a challenging transition, and it's not always one we acknowledge as such.” So, we really hope you use these tips for a smoother transition since “rituals can comfort us and help us observe transitions.” With that, we’ll be saying goodbye to this article, but will see you in the next.
Darby Mulligan - Content Marketing Coordinator, Redfin
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